ConstructionDeal.com Update

From the folks at Washington State University, in the Department of Mathematics of all places, has a listing of real estate terminology. I thought with the current state of the housing market, it might be time to inject a little humor into the situation:

"It took me a considerable amount of time to learn the true meaning of phrases used in real estate ads. I offer the following dictionary for the benefit of those who search for a house and want to save their precious time.

• Old charmer - an old and ugly house
• Stunning house - the house is not ugly
• Tudor - two bedrooms are in the attic which is not insulated; very hot in summer and very cold in winter
• Cape Cod - styled after Third World slum dwellings
• Sunny corner lot - noisy intersection of two busy streets
• Easy freeway access - noisy arterial street close to freeway
• Low maintenance lot - no yard; the kids will have to play in the street
• Meticulously maintained in the original condition - the appliances are 50 years old
• Ready to remodel - the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in
• Newly remodeled kitchen - 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents
• Ready to move in - the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint
• Desirable neighborhood - this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation
• 1 car garage - you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door
• In-city living - it is not safe to walk in this neighborhood after dark
• Recreation room with wet bar - basement has been painted and has a faucet
• Large family room - large basement
• Bedroom in basement - basement has a 1' by 2' window
• Lots of storage space - basement too small to be called a family room
• Partial mountain view - you can see the tip of Mt. Olympus if you climb the roof
• Territorial view - good view of your neighbor's bedroom window
• Build sweat equity - the house is not inhabitable
• Storybook - the house is old and the roof is not flat
• Efficiently designed kitchen - the kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time"

Related Posts:
Housing Bubble Humor
How NOT to Beat the Housing Bubble
How to Beat the Bursting Housing Bubble

Labels: Housing Bubble, Humor, Real Estate

Here's a bit of housing bubble humor for anyone who might be having trouble selling their house (courtesy of The Onion):

"For the third straight month, sales on preexisting homes dropped, leading realtors to call it a 'buyer's market.' Here are some strategies sellers are using to entice buyers:

* Dropping price by 50 bucks
* Carrying around wad of money; acting like owning this house got them that money
* Pointing out dishwasher several times
* Explaining to potential buyers how fulfilling it is to make mortgage payment on time
* Telling long, touching story about how grandmother needs $312,500 for kidney operation
* Letting third blouse button go
* Drowning out sound of noisy furnace with soulful vocals of Michael McDonald
* Reassuring buyers that people purchase things they can't afford all the time"

Related Posts:
How NOT to Beat the Housing Bubble
How to Beat the Bursting Housing Bubble
Real Estate Dictionary
Housing Bubble Humor

Labels: Housing Bubble, Humor, Real Estate

At ConstructionDeal.com, we get a lot of people posting their jobs with us.

Most are pretty normal, but some are downright strange.

So far, this has been my favorite:

"I need a plumber to come over and remove my neighbor's head from my toilet.

Apparently, you're not supposed to give a woman with hair longer than 2 feet a swirly. Who knew?"

Labels: Humor

Here's a joke courtesy of ConstructionDeal.com. I'm not sure who came up with it, but I found it on the 'Net and thought I'd share:

"A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those a**holes at Home Depot ever deliver the f*****' sheet rock..."

So, if you're in need of some hopefully not-too-rough-around-the-edges construction workers in your home, let us know. You can find a contractor at ConstructionDeal.com by posting your project for free! It saves time -- you don't have to go searching at random through the phone book -- and money -- you'll get several bids to choose from on each job.

Thanks!

Related Construction Humor Posts:
Real Estate Dictionary
Housing Bubble Humor

Labels: Humor